Which Way Would You Choose? (revised)               August 17, 2007 

I was in conversation about Leslie yesterday with a precious friend who had the courage to ask me a thought provoking question.  She asked "If you had to choose a way to lose a child, which way is least painful?  Would you choose to watch your child endure illness, suffering, pain and deterioration as you did or is it better to have them taken from you instantly?"

For our situation, I believe Leslie would agree that this answer is easy.  I would choose God’s way again.  Let me first tell you that I do not believe God caused the illness.  Our loving God is not capable of inflicting harm.  We live in a world, however, where Satan is lurking around every corner waiting to dump as much pain and suffering as God will allow.  God allowed Leslie and our family to suffer through her illness as well as watch her earthly body die so He could reveal Himself.

As God has given me the ability to see through His eyes, I know she was a very special chosen spirit.  When she was still a baby spirit with the Lord, she was chosen by God to do a very special work on this earth.  God knew the work would not take a typical lifetime, but she could make her impact in 7 short years and return to live in eternal glory with Him.  The Lord knew she would never have a chance to be "tainted" by this world.  She would be spared almost a lifetime of evil, temptation, greed, hatred, cheating, lies and all of the heartache that is plentiful here. 

Would a fatal accident have been easier to endure?  Perhaps it would.  I do not know since I have not lived this experience.  I can confirm that a serious illness such as the one Leslie had is physically, emotionally and financially draining.  It is heart wrenching to watch your own child suffer and deteriorate.  The tension it causes becomes almost unbearable at times.  I would not want to endure those days of her being sick and I would not wish for anyone else to have to go through such an ordeal.  On the other hand, the gift of this time allowed the Lord to show us how special Leslie is.  He was able to speak to all of us through her actions as well as the drawings she faithfully prepared and left for us.  Although Satan meant to bring us all down, this time gave God the opportunity to reveal himself and His glory so clearly to us and those around us as we are told in Genesis.

Genesis 50:20

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

After living through this trial, we have been first-hand recipients of God's provision.  The bible tells us that we will have trouble in this life, but we are still he will provide supernatural means of fighting our battles if we trust and have faith in Him.

1 Chronicles 5:20

They were helped in fighting them, and God handed the Hagrites and all their allies over to them, because they cried out to him during the battle. He answered their prayers, because they trusted in him.

Our needs were met through such amazing provision that can only be explained as the hands of God.  Our community, friends and family pulled together in support of our family in ways that I never would have imagined.  Not only did this lighten heavy burdens for us, but it changed other people as well.  New Godly relationships were formed by many and others became stronger.  God's glory was evident to many as Leslie's story resonated throughout areas of this country as well as select places through the world.  Families became closer as parents started to realize that our trial could have just as easily been theirs.  From that realization, they made lifestyle changes and started to choose more of God's will rather than the worlds ways.  This not only happened during Leslie's trial, but they will continue to happen as those touched and changed by her story continue to influence those around them. 

So, whatever "bad" must happen, I choose the way in which God can reveal himself and show the most Glory.  We obviously never know what this way is, but God does and I choose to trust Him. 

Dear friend, thank you for asking this question.  God chose YOU to ask and in-turn gave Him the chance to work through me in providing an explanation to many that will read this site. 

Thank you and many blessings!